SCENE 1. KITCHEN
\nThe kitchen is an elaborate one\u2014 crammed with pots, pans, strings of garlic, peppers, ham, knives and other carving utensils\u2026 Oddly enough there are also mannequins and wig stands. The mannequins are decked out in extensive haute couture and the wig stands hold elaborately fashioned wigs. The main feature in the background is a giant metal stove. Its size is impressive. HANSEL, a chubby young boy, sits at a massive kitchen table, he is stuffed into an oversize man\u2019s suit. GRETEL, whose age is indeterminable (by virtue of that classic and ageless quality granted to all icons at the moment of their inception) stands by the cooker. She is an entire fashion gesture in herself, always poised for her close up in Women\u2019s Wear Daily. She is attired in a powder blue dressing gown with shoulder pads.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nFinish up your eggs and bacon Hansel, there are pancakes too\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nYummy. Can I have chocolate milk?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nAnd hot cocoa if you like,<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nAnd marshmallows?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nIf you like\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nWhat about you Gretel?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nWhat about me?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nAren\u2019t you having any breakfast?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nYou know very well Hansel, the only one allowed to eat around here is you.<\/p>\n
Silence<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nGretel?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nYes Hansel?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nWhat\u2019s today?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nTuesday,<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nOh good! I said I was going to bake cookies on Tuesday\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nActually today is Wednesday.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nOh?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nYes. It means you\u2019ll have to wait a while, \u2018til next Tuesday\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nReally?<\/p>\n
Silence<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nWhat if I just did them today, anyway?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nIt\u2019s not a good idea Hansel.
\nWhat do you think of this dressing gown? It\u2019s a Jacques Fath\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nIt looks nice Gretel.<\/p>\n
silence<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nGretel?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nYes Hansel\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nHow come you don\u2019t eat?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHansel! Must we go over this again?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nBut you can! And you know it! Why don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nOh be quiet! Pancakes are done, would you like whipped cream, treacle and syrup on them?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\n(glumly) yes please,<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nAnd guess what we have for treats!<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\n(brightens up) What!<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nGingerbread cookies\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\n(concerned) But Gretel?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nWhat Hansel?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nAre we allowed to have treats after breakfast?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nOf course\u2014<\/p>\n
She is intercepted by a loud quaking\u2014the entire room is shaking and quaking and there is a loud banging from the furnace oven and the entire space turns fiery orange with heat. HANSEL crawls under the table, GRETEL strikes a defiant fashion pose. The quaking stops as suddenly as it begins.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nOf course we can have treats whenever we please.<\/p>\n
HANSEL crawls out from under the table begins to cry.\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\n(impatiently) Hansel, Hansel! Pull yourself together! Sit down! Please\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL tries to subdue himself. He seats himself back at the table.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nNow finish your breakfast, or else no treats.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI don\u2019t think I want any treats Gretel,<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nThat\u2019s silly. Eat up. Eat your pancakes Hansel. Here, here\u2019s more whipped cream.<\/p>\n
GRETEL shovels more food into his plate. HANSEL begins to eat rapidly and mindlessly.<\/p>\n
BLACKOUT<\/p>\n
SCENE 2. KITCHEN
\nGRETEL wears a bead embroidered satin pink shift dress and pearls. She has also changed to a blonde wig. HANSEL is in the same man-child\u2019s outfit.
\nHANSEL carries a tray of unbaked cookies.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHansel! What are you doing?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI\u2019m baking cookies today,<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nNo you\u2019re not\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nYes I am! I want to\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nBut that\u2019s not the point is it?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nStep out of the way\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nLet\u2019s be reasonable<\/p>\n
GRETEL blocks the oven. There is a struggle and the cookie tray is overturned. HANSEL shrieks and lunges at GRETEL\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nHorrible, horrible, horrible!<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nGet your hands off me you disgusting kraut pig!<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI hate you\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nPerhaps. But it doesn\u2019t give you license to ruin my Givenchy,<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nYour what?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nI\u2019m wearing couture you little visigoth! It\u2019s not that easy to come by you know\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nThat\u2019s the other thing!<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\n(rolls her eyes) What now?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nHow come you get to wear all the pretty stuff?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nPretty stuff? Have you learned nothing?! You have no culture and your manners are slovenly\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nAnd you\u2019re mean. And whatever you\u2019re wearing looks horrid on you!\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\n(This stings. she is suddenly on the verge of tears) You evil brat! Who cooks and cleans and cares for you all day\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nAnd that\u2019s the other thing! How come today is always Tuesday? How come it\u2019s always breakfast? How come Gretel?! I liked better when\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\n(pallid, but indignant at this point) Better when what?<\/p>\n
silence<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\n(an icy rage is mounting) When what Hansel?<\/p>\n
HANSEL is about to speak and the banging and quaking begins again. GRETEL dons her dark glasses and strikes a defiant pose. HANSEL covers his ears and shuts his eyes tight. Then it is over. HANSEL uncovers his ears and opens his eyes very slowly. He is shaking visibly.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nCookies indeed!<\/p>\n
HANSEL is silent.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nWhat! No comments from our master chef?<\/p>\n
HANSEL is crying. He crawls into a corner and folds into a fetal position. GRETEL regards him coolly and then starts cooking breakfast over the stove. There is silence for a minute, both busy with their activities\u2014HANSEL crying, GRETEL cooking. Finally,<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nGretel?<\/p>\n
GRETEL glares at him,<\/p>\n
HANSEL<\/p>\n
Do you ever think of the forest?
\nGRETEL says nothing. She skillfully slides an omelette from the skillet to a plate.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nEver?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nBreakfast is ready.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nAgain?<\/p>\n
GRETEL says nothing. She pours a glass of milk and sets it on the table.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\n(frowning) Didn\u2019t we just have breakfast not too long ago?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nIf you don\u2019t want it, perhaps the trash will\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nThat\u2019s not what I meant. I didn\u2019t mean it that way Gretel\u2014<\/p>\n
Silence<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nWhat\u2019s for breakfast?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nSpanish omelette, kippers, toast and baked beans\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nYum!<\/p>\n
Silence<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nGretel?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nWhat now Hansel?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nAre you going to have some breakfast too?<\/p>\n
GRETEL glares at him and says nothing.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI was just asking\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nFinish up. There\u2019s oatmeal porridge too\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nMaybe we can do something different after breakfast\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL arches an eyebrow\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nMaybe we could\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nYes?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nNah, maybe its not such a great idea\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nProbably not.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nYou don\u2019t even know what I was going to say!<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nIt wasn\u2019t a good idea for you to say anything.<\/p>\n
HANSEL sulks for a minute, and then\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nGretel?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHansel?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nGretel have you thought of what you want to be when you grow up?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nI am grown up Hansel.<\/p>\n
She walks away, leaving HANSEL alone. He stares at his oatmeal, raises a spoon to his mouth then drops it. He discontentedly plays with his food for a moment and then slowly begins to eat it at a mountingly healthy pace.<\/p>\n
BLACK OUT<\/p>\n
SCENE 3. KITCHEN.
\nHANSEL at the table in his little man suit, GRETEL, wearing an elegant camel colored pantsuit with elaborate costume jewelry. And a chestnut colored beehive wig. She is busy with culinary details, he sits at the table with a furtive look, knitted brow\u2014 perhaps HANSEL is plotting something.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHansel, what do you think a white sauce or a red sauce for the mushrooms? I\u2019m thinking of something more savory for breakfast. Maybe a Greek-style souffle\u2014<\/p>\n
(there is no response)<\/p>\n
Hansel! What are you doing? Hansel!<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI\u2019m thinking.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nWhy would you do something like that! Hansel, Hansel\u2014snap out of it!<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI\u2019m thinking of the forest Gretel, do you ever think of the forest?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nDon\u2019t be absurd.<\/p>\n
(silence)<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nEnough of this glumness. Let\u2019s have breakfast. Hansel?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nAre you having breakfast too?<\/p>\n
GRETEL gives him a \u201clook\u201d. HANSEL snaps into action suddenly, before we know it he grappling with the giant furnace oven, attempting to pry it open with all his might. GRETEL struggles with him\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHave you gone mad? What are you doing\u2014stop it for goodness sake!<\/p>\n
HANSEL ignores GRETEL, there is grim determination on his face. GRETEL yanks him by the hair\u2014he yanks at her wig and pulls it off. Finally they both fall on to the floor, clawing, crying and panting\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nWhat are you trying to do? Are completely out of your mind?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI miss her\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL slaps him\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHow can you say that! Do you remember nothing? Remember how she treated us?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\n(crying) She was beautiful.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nYou bastard!<\/p>\n
She lunges at him. They go at it again, but they stop when the oven starts quaking. The room glows fiery orange with heat, but this time the giant oven door creaks open. A hollow gust rushes out of the black cavity with echoing laughter. The room quakes again and then everything goes cold and black. The roar of whipping winds and cackling are all we hear for a several minutes in the darkness.<\/p>\n
Slowly the lights come up to reveal HANSEL and GRETEL, strewn across opposite ends of the kitchen. They lie there like broken puppets, not moving. They lie there for several minutes and the light comes down again.<\/p>\n
BLACKOUT<\/p>\n
SCENE 4. KITCHEN
\nGRETEL sits dejectedly at the kitchen table. She wears the same outfit from the last scene, except it is in disarray. Her wig is plonked unceremoniously next to her. HANSEL is at the stove, wearing a chef\u2019s hat. He is enthusiastically whipping up a meal.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nDinner\u2019s ready!<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nI\u2019m not hungry.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nYou have to eat sometime Gretel. Guess what\u2019s for dinner\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nStop badgering me.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nHamburgers and icecream and whipped cream, all in one sandwich!<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nYou\u2019re disgusting!<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI can make you a salad if you like\u2014but first you have to eat my special goulash, I put hotdogs and chopped up hamburgers and ketchup\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHansel, stop it! I really don\u2019t want to know\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\n(triumphantly) We\u2019re having poptarts a la mode for desert. Rum raisin and chocolate icecream. I\u2019ll make it myself! From now on, you\u2019re going to eat! You\u2019ll eat whatever I make. You\u2019ll eat eat eat!<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nThat\u2019s laughable. (she puts on her dark glasses)<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\n(singing) Turkey, lobster, sweet potatoe pie
\nPancakes piled up \u2018til they reach the sky
\nOh you\u2019re gonna eat and eat and eat until you die\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL fingers her jewelry distractedly, she has retired to her own interior world. In the meantime, HANSEL marches around the kitchen singing his anthem. He starts piling the table with big platters and bowls of food. He stops to observe his handy work and realizes that GRETEL is ignoring him. He runs out of the room for a moment and returns wearing a electric silk blue dragon kimono, high heels and a blonde wig. And pearls. He struts in front of GRETEL who roused out of her apathy at this sight.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nTake that off immediately! You haven\u2019t the right\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nYou can\u2019t tell me what to do anymore\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nTake off my clothes immediately\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nThey\u2019re not yours, they belong to her!<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\n(rising and visibly angry) I\u2019m warning you Hansel, take it all off\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nOr else what? What are you gonna do Gretel?<\/p>\n
She lunges at him and misses. She chases him around the kitchen table unsuccessfully. Finally she gives up and leans against the wall, watching HANSEL warily. HANSEL gets up on the table, sashaying up and down the length of it\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nYou\u2019re not the boss of me Gretel, things are gonna change around here\u2014 for one thing we both get to dress up. Two: you have to eat from now on, and I get to cook. And three\u2014<\/p>\n
He stops, a door, the one leading to the forest (which has been there all along, except we hadn\u2019t noticed it) swings wide open. A bright light shines through. HANSEL frightened, jumps off the table and clings to GRETEL. They both cower. Light streams in and forest sounds are heard.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nGretel, what are we going to do?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nShut the door.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nBut supposing it never opens again?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nWe need to shut it.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nBut it means we can go back home\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nThere is no going back Hansel\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nShouldn\u2019t we at least just look to see what\u2019s out there?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nNo.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nOkay.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHansel go and shut the door.<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nMe?<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nGo on, get to it\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nLet\u2019s both do it\u2014<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nNo. You do it\u2014 you wanted to be in charge didn\u2019t you?<\/p>\n
HANSEL
\nI\u2019m scared Gretel.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nNothing will happen to you. Go on be a man, shut the door\u2014<\/p>\n
HANSEL approaches the door with trepidation shielding his face from the light. He tries to take the door by the knob\u2014suddenly there is a gust of wind\u2014 it sweeps him up and out the door. He is swallowed by the light. GRETEL watches in horror.<\/p>\n
GRETEL
\nHansel! Hansel!<\/p>\n
No response, just light streaming into the kitchen. She stands for a second, not quite sure what to do. The door is still wide open, she tiptoes to the side of the door and attempts to grasp the door knob. A wild gust appears suddenly and sweeps her into the light. The door slams shut of it\u2019s own volition.<\/p>\n
Finis<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
…t there is a loud banging from the furnace oven and the entire space turns fiery orange with heat. HANSEL crawls under the table, GRETEL strikes a defiant fashion pose. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3626,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,16],"tags":[17,18],"class_list":["post-76","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-excerpt","category-theater","tag-drama","tag-grimms-weimar-republic"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=76"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":667,"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76\/revisions\/667"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3626"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=76"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=76"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thememorexe.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=76"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}